My legs are quivering in panic 

But I am still static 

I am trying not to look manic 

If I had cladding, I will create a barrier between the world and myself 

In doing so to cover my particulars of imperfections 

I have spent years trying to find the answers 

I have searched every mountain in my mind

I have nearly died

I have allowed the waterfall of poison to cascade into my mind 

I have seen the other side 


The earth has not seemed green and pleasant 

I have not felt heaven sent, instead in a erupting volcano in my mind, where there are no calm times 

Just ash, lava and pain 

The lava is burning my senses, paralysis my memories 

My body wants to run so fast away from my fate, but my mind dissipates and discombobulates in million of particulars

We’re I am trapped 

Where I am alone, and my eyes only see the decades before 


Once the mist has lifted, I can see the people that have always loved me 

The bright sunshine warms my delicate and battered body 

I crawl searching for an ocean, a river, a stream, anything that will cleanse my soul

Hopefully this time, I will be allowed to fly free, if the earth will accept me 


I don’t know what the future holds 

I know I am getting old 

But I am trying to be bold and not get lost in the jungle of fear, so please stay near 

I don’t always get it right, but I need you by my side 

Until I can fight through the night.


© Rosie Burnham

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: Huffingpost Blog: Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue):