The Narrator

I stopped writing for a while

Convinced that the words I wrote were meaningless

And the words would fall off the page

My thoughts would be erased as quick as this paper being ripped from this book

If my words remained

They would be deconstructed and twisted to fit someone else’s personal story

The narrative would begin to change

 

I have been betrayed

The words I always thought I heard

We’re true

We’re real

It wasn’t in my head

I have bent over backwards to accommodate their wishes, and I have ended up getting stitches

 

For you, my wishes are irrelevant

My dreams unachievable

My future is uncertain because I am a disease

A poisonous matter that should be erased

Until I have been cleansed

I am restricted from areas of your life

Segregated and separated from your friendship groups

As though, I would leech and bleach your unblemished life

But, all I can say is that I have tried

 

I have concluded that you will narrate and shape others lives

So you feel complete inside

I may have scars, but I choose to look afar

I decided to leave my demons in that schools, looked in the cupboards of despair

I don’t want to go back there

But, your constant accusation and false expectation of the past have left you scared

Still, I love you for who you are

 

You are buried in victimhood

Blinded by what your perception of happened to me

Broken by years of unspoken words

Battered by the dreams you thought you were entitled too

But, who knew you would fly while some of us would die

I can not lie or hide the resentment you make me feel towards myself

I have become a shell

 

After years of despair, I could not care about your perception of me because I am free

For me, it is time to close this chapter and turn the last page

You have the right to write your story

But not on my pages

You need to find your truth before tearing mine in two

I have been through enough trauma to last a lifetime

Now it is time for you to stand by my side.

 

© Rosie Burnham

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339