Collide

We are all told we have a reason to be here
But, I do not belong in their universe, and this hurts
For years, I have surrendered and allowed myself to be controlled by stronger minded people
But, I am tired of being kicked to the outside
I am only allowed to walk on their path
When it suits them
Otherwise, I am silenced

When I do speak,
I might as well be meek because they seek to keep everyone happy
They do this, to delete the problem
Saying it is not their fault, they did mean it

But I don’t get the breathing space
I don’t have that level of understanding
I just get meet with controlling words of how I should be
How I should speak?
How I should engage with them when I am in their presence?
They believe they are heaven-sent

But, I have always know the order of life
It has just taken me until I was twenty-five to stand up for my rights
The problem is that they choose to see me at the age of fifteen
Rather than, looking at me now
I hoped they would be proud
But, all I hear are empty sounds
There is no hope left in this town
I don’t want end up here the way we are
It is destructive and poisons

Maybe I need to walk away
I need to break free because you are suffocating me
Perhaps you need to find how life is on the other side, so our to worlds don’t collide
I hope to see you in another time and place where you have more space to grow      Where the is no more pain
Maybe we have learnt to dance in the rain
I wait for that day

Wherever I decide to go, know that I have tried
I have been patient
I have listened
I have learnt
But I am struggling to live with this level of hurt
Directed at me

It is unfair
I know you do care
So I will meet you there
Maybe in another country
Maybe in another life
You will learn to be kind, and there you will find a piece of me left behind

© Rosie Burnham

 

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339