Familiar Stranger

I have known since I was ill, that everything comes back to me
I used to hide behind the trees, wishing I could disappear from the spotlights searching for me
But, I knew I would never be free
Everything comes back to me

I knew ten years ago, my life would be changed
I hate the way it has affected you in this way
But, I am tired of people’s complaints and wishing it would be better if life would have stayed the same
But, I never asked you to stay?
Deep down I expected you to walk away?
It was always that way.

Yet, people forget the changes I have made
I have respected your decision
I have listened to your wishes
I know I can not be myself around you
I have to calm and collected with a flicker of fear in my body
I have to hide my emotions
I did not choose this life, so please don’t try to control my life or dictate to me what is right

You want me to be close, yet far
I could disappear off the radar
I could become a star, and you would still see me from afar
This tears at my heart
But, for know, you are a familiar stranger who is free from danger.

I am sorry, but I cannot be your savior
I am sorry I am your failure

One day, you will hopefully see me in a different light, and you will realise it has been a difficult fight to belong in this life.

© Rosie Burnham

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339