Once your eyes were once a space into your soul but they disappeared long ago
There is no home is your heart, you just discard the beautiful past
You regard people’s worth by what they have achieved and so it seems I will never be accepted in that league
I could get so fatigued by hearing how marvellous everyone has been compared to me.
I am filled with a disease that you don’t care to see and don’t have the time to understand how it affected me
You only full engage with people who are socially acceptable to you
The rest of us have to follow suit because we have no proof of greatness in your eyes, so why should we even try?
Yet, I still abide by your wishes and clean the dishes
I know I am not ambition but I still continue to build bridges
Even though I may only move inches through my life
At least, I have learnt to be kind in the meantime you continue to dictate about everything wrong in my life
I may be imperfect but I have accepted my past
Even with a thousand scars and needles being threaded through my heart
I am not afraid to look back and remember those dark times
It is part of my life
Instead, you have chosen to burn and erase us from your mind
However, hard we try you become more distant everything
So, what is the point in trying to connect with you?
Because in reality you always protect the first child and the ones you see as being successful
But, I am to you, a photograph that can be burnt and discarded whilst you remind completely heartlessly
For me, these photographs symbolise to me everything I cannot be and in the end, we mean nothing to you
But you continue to follow through
Who knew these portrays of happier days would make you fade
Further and further every day
You begin to vanish like all of those pictures in the attic
You become frantic
You have become static and you don’t recognise your own panic and then you fall back into old habits
You have established the baggage which you no longer want to carry, so you through it in the alley.
For now, these memories in my mind are the only safe place during this time
I will wait for you to call a lifeline
Please give it a try, you only get one life
Please don’t leave us behind.
© Rosie Burnham