Escape My Mind

I used to run to escape my mind
Now I run to find the peace inside
The elements are my protector, watching over me whilst I run through the field, along with the sand and those gravel tracks

If I take a step back, I am not going into the past
Were the ghosts would float and hover by my shoulders
Waiting for me to fall and be consumed by the trauma once more.
But that was before when my body was broken and bruised
I used to hide behind my scars
I was scared to look afar

Now I live to thrive not just to survive
I have learnt to archive my memories in the past
At last, I can redraft my life
With even step I take I learning to be free again
Every mile I run, I am going further than I even through I would come
I have undone my shame
My aim is not to reclaim the person I once was because she is gone
It was harder to let her go than to come back home

Every long run represent someone thing I have overcome
It clears my mind then I am not afraid of the outside
The countryside is my freedom
A limitless place where I can feel again
I wear my emotions on my sleeve and the wilderness still accept me
I stride into the unknown not afraid of where I may go
I know that I am not alone
When I am in the ‘zone’ my mind is clear, there is clarity in the silence
I hear the only footstep hitting the trails and creating a rhythmical sound
I am grounded at this moment
I can process my memories
I am in control of past
I am living a last

Every step represent memories that cannot be changed or altered in anywhere
But, I stay even with the rain
I am strong enough to live with pain
Yet, these days my attitude has changed
I would rather measure my life in seasons rather than chapters because I cannot change what has happened
But, I can imagine a day where there is no more pain
I have regained a sense of belonging in this world.

© Rosie Burnham


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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: Huffingpost Blog: Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue):