Alive

There are secrets in their eyes
I wonder why they are still alive
However much I despise them
I cannot change their actions, their words, and their wicked ways
I have to stay calm and collected
Acting like I am unaffected

Just because you can not see the water of pain, does not mean that it has gone away
Day by day
I try to smile away the pain
Some days the rain falls and drenched my soul in misery

I’m cold, alone and afraid
I get tired of their games that continue to replay
I’m trying to fight and be hopeful
While practices outside my control and trying to tear me down
I try not frown
I try not to look at the ground
But these sounds are like screens in my mind that takes me further away, each time

I try to remind myself that I’m safe and in a place far away from the traces of horror that I left
But, they cannot be undone
They cannot be washed away
I have to learn to live with the pain

I have, and I will continue to fight these demons my head
Until I am free wherever that may be
Whatever time zone
I will find a place of peace
Somewhere
Somehow
I will be free

© Rosie Burnham

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About Rosie Burnham

I am young voice trying to find a voice between the silence through blogging, using poetry to express my thoughts and running towards recovery. One day, hoping to become a public speaker to share my experiences and raise awareness about the impact of bullying and abuse in schools; highlighting the lasting effects of PTSD on the individual and the family. Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339