These days I feel a ghost
An irrelevant human
I hoped that one day I could walk amongst society as a regard civilian but that will never be

People choose to see beautiful
However, they refuse to see the pain that is not always present but lives under the surface of everyone skin
The bruises come and go
I just wish that I could find a ray of sunshine
I will you could look me directly in the eye

I don’t want to say goodbye
So I try to find a spec of hope
A moment of peace
Even when the chaos seems that it will never cease

I will meet the clouds of despair and the sun with open arms
I cannot out run the weather
I have become lighter than a feather
I will try to mend and learn to fend for myself

Without their constricting arms that catch me off guard
They have constantly harmed my heart
I know that I have to find a way out of this maze
But, this battle for life has drained me day by day
I need to find an escape
Away from this wake that I am living in which is slowly pulling me further into the darkness
Just because you can’t see the sadness on my face
Does not mean that everything is okay

I hide my emotions deep within so my feelings don’t become public property or a scribble on a piece of paper that highlights my imperfection
People believe that words are powerless but for me
They explain what I cannot say
It also keeps people a bay
I know that I shouldn’t be this way but two months since the flood
Where my world was undone and the judgemental eyes sowed their lies whilst I tried to find an outlet to express my fire

However, it kept being drowned out
Until only the air bubbles were my voice,
my reasoning
I wasn’t given a hearing
I was just left freezing in the Atlantic ocean
I was not even given a magic potion to warm my body through the cold nights and lonely times
I just have to live my life even if I have to fight for the right to belong
To be
It is not the way it should be but I will have to wait and see
What will tomorrow bring?

One day, I will be able to sing without them controlling me from within

© Rosie Burnham

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: Huffingpost Blog: Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue):