Happier Days

I know in time that people change
It is foolish to think that we would stay the same and remain our fifteen-year-old selfs
But, it has felt that as the years have gone by
A part of our friendships has died
I try not cry while I write
But, I can’t quite understand why there is such a great divide
I know that time has gone by and this has played a part
I must not keep wishing that I could restart our lives
I am not able to fix the past
I know that at last

I thought after eleven years we had made a start to mending our broken hearts
I listened
I changed for you
I supported you through your difficult’s, but it is not the same with me

A month ago, you created a blank space between us
You created a wall of silence
I tried to reach out
To comfort you
However, you chose to believe the lies and talked through a hundred’s of other minds, and you never discussed it with mine
But, that is alright

Now, I cannot bare to talk to you
You expect to see the world through your rose tinted glasses, and I will never belong in your world
But, deep down you have wanted it this way for over a decade
I will never be enough
I will always be a disappointment
I will always be the one that broken the family
So until we can meet again and not keep looking back

I have to remove you out of my life
Until I am strong enough to fight
Until I can be heard without your judgementally words that hurt
I will live my life despite your disappointing eyes

I am on a different road that some never have to go
I know that I have to do this alone
Then I can come back home and be accepted
But until the troubled water has evaporated
And the currents of peace have returned
And the pass isn’t constantly under earthed, and all the hurt doesn’t emerge

Then one day we can meet and talk about the happier times
And somewhere that I don’t have to conform to your party lines
I  did try to mend the past
I changed for you, even though it was detrimental to my brain
I chose to deal with the pain so that you would come back to me one day

Sadly, those days are gone
But, I live in the hope that I will see you some day soon
Where we talk about the happier days and let the past fade

© Rosie Burnham

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339