Shall I Just Let It Go?

I’ll go
I know that we have hit the end of the road
I need to do this next part from afar

I know that you need your respite
But, despite the opportunities to tell me the truth
Instead, you choose to lie to me on countless occasion
I have to read those email to find the truth, to find the answers that you hold against me
One day I will be free
With or without me in your life

We have come to the end of the road and there is no home left to salvage, to repair
Maybe if it wasn’t for this last week things would have been different
Their actions cannot be subtracted or erased so I will carry this pain to remain sane

But, no side has gained from this disarray, it has just caused more pain
I wish life wasn’t this way but those days can not be taken away or fade into insignificance
They hold meaning and emotions that cannot be washing away as easily as the tide coming and going
There is less hope in the waves of change
The swells of darkness are becoming more present

So, I will wait for the decision and ask you to repeat the last sentence
Until I can understand your empty words and find another meaning in your actions which don’t cause pain and make we want to float away
I have always wanted to stay
But you have thrown a web of lies and however hard I try it is not enough
I am rough around the edges like a piece of coral
The last eleven years have defined me
I never thought I would have to say that but the is truth

But my question to you is what is your truth?

I don’t know

I will wait until 8:52
For the proof that my youth wasn’t wasted and spread across these walls of judgment
But, I know that will never be
Never materialize to a meaningful apology
So how can I let you hold me and love me?
I don’t know

Shall I just let it go?
I just don’t know

© Rosie Burnham

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339