Why?

I don’t know how and I don’t know why You have decided to come back into my life

Each time I forget the past 

It creeps up so fast 

Creating a indent in heart 

I just want to leave the past behind 
But your eyes our staring into my back and I can’t retract or take a step back 
The memories hit me like a burning fire 

Alighting my fears

My warm tears cascading down my face 

I am 16 again 

I fell like a fair weather friend who has come back again 
To a time where punishment was my love 

Isolation was my friend

Music was my shelter 
I was the centre of your sector 

I thought this would be my forever 

And my family wouldn’t be together 

I became as cold as a feather that could not stand the weather 
I would treasure a hug or a small act of kindness but this never happened 

I was just left with why? 

Do you hurt me every time 

I can’t do anything right 

So I would bang my head a night 

Just to pass the time 

I began a eye rhyme of the past time 
I just want to die and not to become a lie 

A false condition 

A missing soul 
I roll my bed on the floor each night to feel normal 

The carpet became my protection 

And my life’s long direction 

Your defection was an injection 

I became a subjection 

And I couldn’t look at my reflection 

This lead to depression as your misconception caused years of pain that will never fade 
Someday, I will find a new way with out the pain 

But, for today I will wash the clay away 

And remind myself that nothing has changed 

You are an empty figure from the past that will fade away 

I pray 

This is my hope one day 

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339