Three Empty Words

You feel see through, like the wind could blow you in two
When you look into the mirror you don’t see yourself
You see the clouds floating through your hollow body
Your blood is clear and moves with the wind
You use to sing a hymn
You voice was strong, powerful, a force of nature
But, you lost it amongst the trauma
There were days when your throat would tighten
Your heart rate would increase
Your thoughts would race
Until you mind and body is riddled with anxiety

When you would sit in your room
In the hospital with white wall and blue floors
Lying on your back looking at the ceiling, wishing to be able to see the stars
As the tears would pour down your face
Your cheeks would become red with frustration
But after weeks went by and nobody was insight
You stopped screaming and thought 
‘What is the point of screaming when nobody is listen anyway’
Day by day
Things stayed the same

You witnessed the changing faces
The changing attitudes
The sometimes inhumane way people treated you
In the end, it is ‘your word against there’s’

I know it breaks you heart
Every time these words are spoken or muttered
It takes you right back into the past
The trauma
The school
The hospitals
Until you are left with these three empty words

Somedays you wish you could be a bird
Fly away, for the pain
The shame
The mind games that life has thrown in the way
I know deep down that one day
You will breakaway, someday soon

You will grow immune to the cartoons
Their faces will go
Their voice will disappear into the air
Their bodies will evaporate and leave you at peace
The pain will decrease
The happiness will increase
And finally you will feel a sense of relief

2 thoughts on “Three Empty Words

  1. This is such a sad post, but beautiful. I really empathise and feel your pain. I have felt very similar feelings myself. I’m sending you all the caring positive energy I have in my heart and hope it helps Xx 💜💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

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About Rosie Burnham

Twitter: @Rosie_Burnham Blog: rosieburnham.com Huffingpost Blog: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/rosie-burnham Very Loose Women (ResonanceFM): http://bit.ly/2l02xw3 Women's Health Magazine (Strong Minds Issue): https://www.pressreader.com/uk/womens-health-uk/20171201/282948155497339