The last four months have been an emotional rollercoaster. I have been constantly living in a state of uncertainty and fear which is still no closer to being resolved. It has become a very wearing and tired, process that need to be resolved soon.
I am trying my best to keep life as ‘normal’ as possible but is difficult. I feel isolated and alone in my mind, trapped in a prison of darkness. There is no light, shining in to illuminate the corridors of the room, just darknesses. That stays with me throughout the days and night.
My sleep is disturbed by the amount of flashbacks and nightmares I am having. At the moment, I do not wake up feeling restored, completely the opposite. I keep a routine to my day by doing yoga, walking and trying to do some university work. Most of the time now, I can hardly sit for half an hour and do my work because my mind and body our so traumatised. Even through this is happening I am continuing to stay hopeful and positive.
Life is a difficult journey as I have learnt especially over the last ten years. I feel somedays as I am taking the road less traveled. I now one day that my tracks will set me free. I worried somedays that the road will unraveled and fall beneath my feet. But, as before I will get back up and start again.