There have been many storms that have passed through, over the last couple of years. I have been able to weather the pouring raining that has touch my body, washing away the pain of yesterday but recently the rain has started to turn into hailstones and the colder rain that is falling has started to bruise me for within. My bones become stiff and frozen in the colder weather. I wish there was a pause, a restart even a de-frost button to slow the effects but there isn’t.
I cannot even cry, my emotions, my hurt out of my frozen body because as soon as my tears begin to pour the cold atmosphere, immediately crystallises my tears. This causes my emotions to become frozen in my blood and then the ice particulars stop my brain from begin able to carry out the simplest of tasks.
It saddens me, that I so vulnerable once again. The energy that is used to repair myself is exhausting but I am not broken, just bruised. I will recover and become stronger and the warmer weather will arrive in time. A new weather front will come, like life the weather comes and goes in cycles. I have to now wait for the next ‘jet stream’ to come, to purify, to clean the polluted air that has surround my life for the last week.
A week to many people doesn’t seem a lot but when immersed in the ‘eye of the storm,’ the days seem like weeks, weeks seem like months. In these moments when the clouds feel heavy on my shoulders, I just have to hope that change will come soon. I have to have faith that life will not always feel this way. I have to continue to smile and enjoy life as much as possible and try to ignore the ‘noises’ in the background, trying to weaken my smile.