Since the events that happened at school and the trauma that I experienced. It feels as though the trauma has followed us all throughout these last ten years. It seems just as one aspect of our lives get sorted, something else happens that sets us back. I am starting to question ‘what have we done so totally wrong in our lives?’
It is difficult to keep believing that one day everything will hopefully start to repair itself, in some shape or form. I am scared and fearful of certain outcomes that are happening this week. I have no control or power over what happens next.
I am struggling to find other ‘avenues’ to find help for all of us. I just want to be able to protect everyone from the world outside but I can’t and this tears me apart. I wish I had a hand full of glitter that I could throw up into the sky and it would float above my family to protect them from the elements of the world but… what good would glitter do?
This is how I feel totally powerless and my inner strength is weakening day by day but putting all of the pain and anguish aside, then I begin to realise that things could be a lot worse. We have all overcome these types’ storms before, this next storm is no different. It is important that we stick together and not let our emotions and minds, run away into an uncontrollable panic over this situation. This is easier said than done.
I am determined to not give up and fall to pieces because this is just another storm that will pass over in time. It is how we choose to react and deal with this next chapter in our lives.
The uncertainty is unsettling and challenging but I know that every time, I get knocked down, I come back stronger. This is difficult to realise when we are in the middle of it but I have to hope that in the end, things will be alright.
With Christmas approaching it brings joy and happiness into my heart but also triggers a lot of emotional memories for me. I am going to take each day at a time, just enjoy the next few weeks with my family and create new memories that nobody can take away from us, no matter what happens next.