The water embraces me. It has always been an outlet for me. The ways the water embraces my body and my mind becomes peaceful, relaxing with the motion of the water. My minds thought pattern slows down and moves with my body. The silence underneath the water line, fills my ears with calmness. My mind becomes mindful of the present not the past.
I carry a lot of stress in my body. Once that I have swam it is like I have taken another layer of stress, pain away for my body. A release. I continue to either swim most mornings or evenings. I have become aware of the useful things that help me, get through the day. It may seem simple to most people, but in a way sometimes the simplest things in life are the best. It is also something I can do independently or with friends. I feel safe in the water. Nothing can harm me. It is like being in a protected bubble. Away from the thoughts, memories in my body and mind. They disappear in an instance. I am free off weight that I carry around on a daily bases.
When I have done any exercise, it clears my mind and I believe that it helps maintain my mental wellbeing. The fresh air and noticing the world around me, rather than in my head. The colours of the trees, the sky changing rapidly, the sun dodging the clouds and the fresh air on my face. Awakens my senses. I feel switched on and the anxiety has gone. I don’t feel I need to take a tablet to make my thoughts go away, which is a temporary fix. Within a few hours I will be back to square one. When I have exercised that is my “natural drug”. I can feel my heart beat, the tiredness of my muscles and I feel the uncertainty, fly away from my body. A lightness comes over me.
I have to walk every day and swim, but also by me listening to my body I am connected to this earth. I feel the weight of my body on the ground or pushing through the water. This is me, taking control and responsibility for myself. I can have all the therapy in the world, but I have to make a life outside of that. By me, noticing the productive elements that I can add to my day. I am allowing myself to live, to experience life, rather than stay in the house afraid of the individuals.
This is my time to live.