The word “Calm” is often used, but learning to acknowledge this feeling and being present in the moment is easier said than done. At certain times over the last couple of years, for me there has been no calmness just chaos. I am still learning to sit with the uncomfortable feelings in my mind and body, I have tingling down my arm and legs, my heart feels as if it is about to explode through my chest, my throat tightness and my mind disappears into the past.
There have been times when I could see no end to this chaos in my head, but through discovering yoga, it has helped me greatly. Over the last two years I have started to incorporate yoga into my daily life, either first thing in the morning or before bed to calm my mind. I had gone through patches when I haven’t done yoga for weeks and then do it every day for three months constantly, but every time I feel the chaos happening and cracks begin to show I roll out my yoga mat and sit, breath in the air, and ground myself. Some days I can only do five minutes and other days thirty, but in this small period of time I am able to clear my mind and continue with the rest of my day.
I find it releases the tension in my body and loosens my shoulders, where I carry my stress. I find by regularly doing yoga it is a “natural” way of healing myself, rather than using medication to numb my feelings and suppressing normal emotions. I feel a ghost in my body, but when I do yoga I feel free.
Yoga has taught me to care for my body and self, listen to when I feel tried and need to slow down. To acknowledge my feelings and not fear the chaos, and believe I can cope. Also, I have started to love myself, instead of harming my body, embracing my imperfection and accepting myself, as I am. Finally, being mindful in the moment, mindful of others and learning to deal with the ever changing tides of life.